Billy The Kid Shoots Straight On His Finances.

5 min read
Dec 6, 2023 2:51:56 PM

Welcome to the Financial Boss blog. Today, we bring you a parody interview with anti-hero Billy the Kid who has come to symbolize the Wild West through his infamous deeds, including his participation in cattle rustling, gunfights, and jailbreaks. The romanticized tales of his daring escapades contributed to his larger-than-life image. Despite his criminal activities, Billy the Kid was described as charming and witty. He garnered support and loyalty from the downtrodden as he tried to wring justice from the strong arm of the law. 

Billy the Kid's parents emigrated from Ireland following the Great Famine. Born near the Five Points in New York City as Henry McCarty, he would later go by the name William H. Bonney. His father died when he was just 8 years old. The family later moved to Indianapolis where their mother remarried before setting out to New Mexico on the heel of the Great Western expansion. As portrayed in the recent TV mini-series, Billy the Kid, the western frontier was fraught with danger, and after his mother died from tuberculosis, Billy the Kid was orphaned as a teenager and would soon fall-in with the wrong crowd. Enjoy the interview!

Financial Boss: Thank you, William, for joining our blog today. You have come to personify the Wild West era. You are notorious for having killed 21 men, one for every year of your life. How would you prefer to be remembered?

Billy the Kid: I don't want to be remembered as a killer or an outlaw. I'd rather be remembered as a brave man who stood up against The House. That Santa Fe Ring tried monopolizing any business that was to be had. They bought-off Sheriff Brady who murdered my employer, and closest thing I had to a father, rancher and Englishman John Tunstall. I got my revenge. We Regulators ambushed that son-of-a-bitch and some of his deputies.

Financial Boss: I can't help but observe that your short life in many ways was determined by circumstances outside your control like the untimely death of your parents, which further mired you into poverty and led you to a life of crime and theft just to survive. What are some of your early memories of money?

Billy the Kid: I've never really cared much for it to be honest, even in the early days. I never bothered to hold-up a bank or rob one of those trains heading to Deming. I remember stealing some butter when I was 14 years old. My first bust came when my buddy Sombrero Jack from Mrs. Brown’s boarding house and I robbed a Chinese laundry store of some clothes as a prank. I was a wily young kid, though, and I shimmied up that chimney in the Silver City jail and escaped! 

Financial Boss: How you would have lived your life if money wasn't an issue? 

Billy the Kid: I am so far removed from that possibility it makes me laugh. One thing is certain, people wouldn't be calling me an outlaw! I did really enjoy learning about the Hispanic culture and learning the language. I think I would have liked to travel around the world and see all the different cultures and places. I would have also liked to have had a family some day since I missed out on that.

Financial Boss: If I remember correctly, during that alternation with Sheriff Brady, your leg was grazed by a bullet. What if the doctor who patched you up told you that you have five to ten years left to live but won't tell you the exact date that you'll die. What will you do in the time you have remaining to live?

Billy the Kid: Maybe I'd marry that bomboncita Paulita, or take up with every beautiful woman in Silver City. I'd do a lot more drinking probably. I mean, if I knew I was gonna die in five years I suppose I'd do everything that I ain't done yet. Travel around, see the world, have some fun. Get into a few fights while I'm at it. I'd also go see my brother Josie in Colorado and gamble some.

Financial Boss: I don't think our audience appreciates how bad things got during the Lincoln County War. President Rutherford B. Hayes referred to Main Street in Lincoln, New Mexico as "the most dangerous street in America." Yet time after time you returned when you could have left. Why did you stay?

Billy the Kid: It was the first place I felt accepted. I was around people more like myself, people who didn't just want me to clean up. Where I wasn't seen as just an orphan or a troublemaker. I felt that I was home. It could've worked out if Governor Wallace didn't renege on his promise to pardon me when I provided testimony on witnessing Huston Chapman’s murder. 

Financial Boss: People say that the Winchester was "the gun that won the West." You're known to have been quite the shot. What did your tech stack look like? 

Billy the Kid: My Winchester '73 has been my best friend for years now, I tell ya. If I could marry this thing, I would! It's fast, accurate, easy to handle, and it's even saved my life. I also carry my trusty six-shooter .41 caliber Colt Thunderer. This one here I hid up in a juniper tree outside the Lincoln County Courthouse when I escaped the hangman.

Financial Boss: We all need a way to relax. Tell us about a hobby you enjoyed.

Billy the Kid: I liked getting out to the fields with my old rifle and popping off a couple rounds, making sure my skills with a gun don't go to waste. But other than that... I love a good night at the bar with the Rustlers. A night out with Tom "Big Foot" and Charlie square dancing to "Silver Threads Among the Gold" was always a hoot. Those were the only times we could get Dirty Dave to spiff up.

Financial Boss: The Wild West has certainly left a lasting imprint on American culture, and you are a big part of that legacy. As I reflect on our interview, I'm reminded of the saying that the three biggest decisions we make that will impact our lives are where we live, what we do for a living, and who we marry. Knowing what you know now, what one piece of advice would you give your younger self?

Billy the Kid: I was a stupid young kid with no role models. I'd probably tell him "Listen up now, don't get yourself involved with Dick and the others. That's just gonna be messin' with trouble." Because honestly, when I met Dick, even though I looked up to him like an older brother, my life changed for the worse. If I'd never met him, my days would never have become filled with shoot-outs and that sorta thing, trying to take back what we think the world took from us.



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